


Liar

by chararii



Category: Naruto
Genre: Delusions, Denial, F/F, Lies, Mild Sexual Content, Multi, Post-Canon, Some are just more aware of it than others, That one AU where they're all awful people, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:28:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26450053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chararii/pseuds/chararii
Summary: Shizune lies to herself, Tsunade lies to others and Sakura is caught in between. They're all awful in their own ways and all perfectly deserve one another.It's a match made in hell but at least if they go down, they will go down together.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Shizune, Haruno Sakura/Tsunade, Shizune/Tsunade (Naruto), Shizune/Tsunade/Haruno Sakura
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	Liar

**Author's Note:**

> My OT3 except it's an awful piece and I don't know why or how and I just wrote what I felt like.

Sakura is a liar.

She used to be an honest girl, once. Her mother raises her to be true to herself and others, walk with her back straight and show kindness to those around her. The first few years of her life are easy, in that regard. Ino is her only friend and they share every little secret between them. When admitting to a crush on Sasuke ruins that for her, Sakura first learns that honesty isn't really all it is cracked up to be. Still, she tries.

When Sakura is seven, she realises that nobody is interested in a feisty, loud girl. It makes her different and even though she goes to the academy, being rowdy and picking fights is not at all desirable. So Sakura looks at other girls instead and studies the way they blush when talking to their crush, their shyness, their small smiles. Ino is popular enough to get away with being herself and Sakura is not. So she adapts (and resents Ino a little more with each day that passes.)

Pretending to be someone she is not, isn't the same thing as lying. Sakura is convinced of that and perfects the art of pushing all her undesirable emotions into a tiny corner of her mind that only ever acts up around the village idiot. She doesn't worry about that because who would he tell? The boy is even less popular than she is. Releasing a little of her pent up frustration whenever he gets on her nerves is perfectly alright. Nobody likes him anyway.

Graduating changes things. Having to balance showing her best and true self at all times is tiring to the point where she oversleeps more often than not and has little energy to train. That, combined with her – in hindsight – incredibly foolish infatuation with Sasuke, makes for one poor performance after another. Sakura begins making excuses, blaming her parents more often than not, coming up with one misdirection after another. Still. It isn't _lying_. Not really.

She lies when she attempts to convince Sasuke to stay.

She lies when she assures Naruto that she doesn't blame him.

She lies when Kakashi asks her if she will be fine on her own.

She doesn't lie when she begs Tsunade to train her.

At thirteen, Sakura is old enough to admit to herself that she isn't entirely truthful most of the time. The knowledge doesn't bother her much. Adults lie all the time. Children even more so. Everyone lies. As long as she keeps it to a minimum she will be fine. Even so, she has never lied to herself.

Now, years later, she couldn't pinpoint the exact moment she lost complete control over her life even if she tried.

It begins and ends, with Tsunade. Meeting that woman is like opening a new chapter in Sakura's book of life. Once more, she has hope for a better future and more importantly, herself. When she actually agrees to teach her, Sakura is on a high so intense it somehow never... wanes.

Studying medicine, chakra control and the ways of fighting like a force of nature is exhilarating yet for all the amazing moments, for all the feelings of accomplishment, for all Sakura finally feels like she's worth something, being in her teacher's presence is tricky. Distracting.

It's not her fault, nor she suspects, is it Tsunade's. The woman can't help being impressive, a living legend, a star that shines so bright it drowns out the sun, moon, and everything in between. Sakura ends up studying in Shizune's company more often than not who is incredibly knowledgable and can answer all her questions just as easily.

Sakura grows older, eventually, and while Sasuke is still somewhere present in her thoughts, she ends up dating a nice civilian boy instead. It's effortless and easy until he begins asking questions she doesn't like to answer. Sakura tells him about being a ninja, about her studies, her old team, but when he asks about the Hokage, she, without giving it much thought, delivers lie after lie after lie. He's just a civilian so what does it matter? He's not very likely to ever meet her in person. Her, who makes Sakura's brain itch in all the most distracting ways.

Sex is a letdown but she smiles and tells him she enjoyed herself nevertheless even though he was huffing and puffing for a few minutes while nearly smothering her. She doesn't mind indulging him over and over again. A small sacrifice for the distraction he provides. Her studies begin to slip, just a little, and she doesn't care much until Tsunade calls her to her office and demands answers. Being stuck in a room alone with her makes Sakura antsy.

She can't quite control her body's reactions and fidgets shuffles her feet, reaches for her hair. To Tsunade, she looks incredibly guilty. She doesn't know what's wrong with her, not really, but agrees to stop spending time with the boy and concentrate on her work instead. With him gone, there are far too many evenings where Sakura is restless in her own bedroom. She finds a distraction, eventually, and teaches herself how to come undone with her own hand.

She thinks about nothing or no one particular yet somehow when she's just on the verge of exploding, a split second before Sakura sees stars, she smells the faintest hint of sake.

At seventeen the war is over and she dates Sasuke. Her dreams have finally come true and she smiles, laughs, secretly has panic attacks every now and then but she hides them well and everything is alright. Everything is just fine. She's not lying to herself. She's _not_.

She has the boy of her dreams, a life of peace, a promising career as part of the most exemplary ranks of medics. Everything is perfect and she is happy.

Sakura is a liar but doesn't quite realise it yet and really, that's what makes her dangerous.

Shizune is a liar.

She can't quite remember if she's always been that way or changed at some point. That doesn't make her a bad person, of course. She's kind and gentle, always has a soft word for the ailing and injured, has perfected her bedside manner in the way Tsunade-sama has not. Shizune is loved in turn by the whole village, is the barrier between the blonde's temper and the outside world.

Her days are spent taking care of others whether it be teaching Sakura the last few lessons she still has to learn, the patients that she heals, or Tsunade-sama who she's always cared for, for as long as she can remember. She gives herself to whoever asks without ever asking for anything in return. Shizune, who believes in karma, trusts that one day she will receive the one thing she covets most. If only she tries a little harder, smiles a little more often, is just a little kinder.

What once used to be the product of a naturally helpful disposition takes over her life. Not that Shizune minds. Helping others is where she thrives, being so pathetically unable to help herself. As a direct consequence of this, she's not very good at being honest with herself. So what if she spends more hours than necessary working so that Tsunade-sama can rest more? So what if she occasionally misses the odd sake bottle, completely on accident of course, and Tsunade-sama can enjoy it once Shizune has retired?

So what if she likes to go out at night and wanders into the beds of strangers to make sure she can be at her best during the day when Tsunade-sama needs her? It doesn't mean anything. She's merely devoted to her, as she always has been, always will be. There's nothing more to it. There _isn't_.

What Shizune lacks in terms of introspection, she makes up for with her unparalleled mastery of seeing the hearts of those around her. She sees the Yamanaka's old desire for her best friend that has never quite faded. She sees Mitarashi and the pain she carries with her, how much she misses the man the village branded a monster. She looks at Sakura and sees a kind of love for her master that even the girl is blind to.

It doesn't bother her. Not as such. Shizune is too old to consider a mere young adult a rival. Not when neither of them is even thinking of competing for a woman who belongs to herself and nobody else. Shizune knows this and thus, doesn't try. Sakura doesn't know and Shizune, who chases the problems of others like an addict just so she isn't faced with her own, sees an opportunity and takes it.

She's careful and subtle at first. Sakura isn't faint-hearted or weak yet still sheltered in some ways. This is one of them. She spends more time with the young woman who celebrated her nineteenth birthday a few weeks ago. Shizune adjusts their rounds to make sure they match up, invites her to tea every now and then, starts frequenting the same restaurants.

They talk of small things such as her upcoming engagement to the Uchiha, their clothes, their work. Nothing of substance but Shizune is nothing if not an expert in getting past another's defences and to the very truth of their soul. It's a subtle talent she's only ever used for good so others don't fear her quite as they perhaps should.

Shizune brings up Tsunade-sama, time and time again. Watches the girl's words acquire a nervous stutter, takes in the blush that decorates her cheeks whenever the blonde comes up. Watches and waits. Until one day, upon mentioning a casual get-together in the hot springs, Sakura moves her legs together and shifts in her seat. Shizune smiles and pats her shoulder, as her perfect mask never once slips.

The Uchiha, she has to admit, is a problem. Shizune is sure he tries his best, both to ensure he does right by Sakura and to make up for everything he did wrong. But it takes no genius to see how jarring the two of them together are. Sakura is smooth like a perfectly round rose quartz while he is sharp and cutting, a diamond that has yet to be refined. When they meet their surfaces rub against one another and the sound is a screech that hurts Shizune's ears.

Sakura has become quite dear to her and so it is her duty to make sure she gets to be happy; a possibility she cannot see come to fruition as long as she stays with him. She tries to set her up with the Yamanaka instead. It doesn't go terribly well. Sakura is too blind to the ways of other women, too stuck in her narrow box of husband, children and family. Shizune would never dare claim she knows best (but she does, doesn't she) and so she stops trying to force things that refuse to work out.

It takes her a while to realise that what Shizune needs, is what Sakura needs. Both, in their own way, crave what remains elusive, chase the one who refuses to be caught. Shizune doesn't know misery, has mastered the art of hiding from it, but she sees it closing in on Sakura like a large black bird. She will forever try to do what is right for others. It is her way, her essence, her very soul. Shizune knows nothing else.

Shizune is a liar but she means well and that's all that counts.

Tsunade is a liar.

She always has been, from the date of her birth. Being born a princess the first lesson in life she learned was how to always get what she wants. Fate may have decided to fight her in her mission to be the woman who has everything and has knocked her downtime and time again. Despite that, nobody understands how to lie, evade and use everything at her disposal to come out on top quite like Tsunade does.

It is truly her best quality among a sea of flaws and deficiencies she runs from most days, gives the finger by getting drunk so much she's literally unable to care, on others. The alcohol she needs because while Tsunade excels at lying to those around her, she is pathetic when it comes to lying to herself. She envies Shizune in that regard, who is a woman so terrifying even Tsunade watches herself around her.

For years, Shizune was the only one she had to keep an eye on. In the past few years, Sakura has become the second. Apart, Tsunade can handle them well enough. Both are unfortunate enough to be infatuated with her. In Shizune's case, a crush has turned into love has turned into an obsession that she hides like a master thief hides her haul. It is merely the woman being unable to lie to her and Tsunade who sees more than most, is intimately aware of the nights Shizune spends in the beds of women with large breasts and blonde hair after buying them so much alcohol they smell of sake. Being the only one who's always been a secret to Shizune's all-seeing eyes, she pretends that she's oblivious and keeps her assistant in the dark just where she likes her best.

Sakura is young yet, too young and virginal despite letting the men in her life touch her in whatever way they want. She doesn't enjoy it, is one who hides a hunger for women underneath that disgustingly sickening normal exterior that no doubt her civilian mother is responsible for. Tsunade looks at her and sees a craving to submit to strength and security that can make her fall apart at the seams just as they can sew her back together. In every single way, Tsunade fits her needs so well it is no wonder that the girl, now woman, smells of sex and masturbation whenever she returns from her lunch break after a long day of working by her side.

Sakura is a novice, one who's neither particularly introspective nor one who can read others. Acting like Tsunade has no idea what she's doing is so easy it's almost laughable.

The problem, such as it is, begins when Shizune sinks her claws into Sakura. She doesn't do it on purpose, never once realises how she latches onto others only to make herself such an integral part of their lives they eventually cannot function without her anymore. It's what she's done to countless others, it's what she's done to Tsunade, it's what she's doing to Sakura. Shizune is such a fucking _good_ woman that her victims love and thank her and she never learns that she tends to go too far.

But Tsunade, above anything else, is a selfish creature. Leading the village is a professional choice but with her heart, with her _self_ , she looks out for one person and one person only. She watches and sees it coming from a mile away, is the only one who's not at all surprised when eventually Sakura leaves her Uchiha and finds solace with Shizune instead (though she acts the part of the surprised and shocked bystander better than anyone else).

Shizune and Sakura are the best and the worst for each other, both looking at Tsunade instead of one another, yet both content to play along and sate their hunger. They're closer to her than ever and Tsunade who knows better than to rely on luck waits for the moment when they decide that together they can turn into the only predator that has even a chance of catching Tsunade.

Shizune can split her open like a ripe fruit, gorge herself and leave nothing in her wake. Sakura can chip away at Shizune's moral barrier that ensured she kept her hands off Tsunade until it crumbles and Tsunade will become little more than a shell of her former self.

But Tsunade is older, wiser, and infinitely more ready to set the world on fire if only it means she gets what she wants. She's a survivor, one who will always come out on top no matter the circumstances. The hearts and minds of others stopped mattering to her a long time ago and if she's in the sights of two bloodthirsty, if deluded hunters, she will stop at nothing to make herself untouchable.

It's easy to pretend to be upset when Shizune spends time with Sakura instead of working overtime. It's easy to take Sakura aside for lessons Shizune cannot teach her and thus interrupting their scheduled date.

It's easy to seem jealous without stepping into Shizune's passive radar that never stops, never sleeps.

She doesn't have to wait for long, knows Sakura is ready to do what Shizune would never dare, and presents herself like a tasty offering, the main course, appetiser, and dessert all in one.

Because in the end, neither Sakura nor Shizune would ever risk harming something they consider theirs.

Tsunade is a liar but, as she stares down on Sakura and Shizune who rest at her feet, curled up, docile and entirely at her command, it gets her what she wants and that's all the excuse she needs.


End file.
